My Body, My Soul

On July 1 I learned that I have breast cancer. (You can read more about this at www.YourIntuitiveLife.com/blog.php or watch for my Breast Cancer blog at www.PinkMagazine.com blogging section.) In the last few weeks I’ve learned a tremendous amount about myself, my life, the disease and the body. I thought I had a pretty good understanding of the mind-soul-body connection. Dealing with this life threatening illness has taught me a great deal more. I would like to share what I’ve learned about the body and soul connection.

I have been what some would call a “health nut” for most of my life. I’ve avoided chemicals in all forms, am vegetarian, take vitamins, exercise intensely and often, meditate, do healings on myself. I was very shocked to learn that my body developed this illness. At first I felt like a failure. I also felt betrayed by my body. I have since come to understand more about the body and how some disease happens, and I am grateful that I’ve taken such good care of it, so it can heal.

Power Truth #10 in my book, Unlimited Life says, “I am not my body. I am a unique, essential being living inside my body.” I learned this while doing yoga 35 years ago. I have since learned to identify with the “real” me that is separate from my mind and body. It is essentially aware and in touch with another level of information than the mind normally misses. I’ve taken care of my body, but thought of it merely as a vehicle for my soul.

Now I understand that body is a being in its own right. The body has been in existence for millions of years - an animal evolving over time, with eons of experiences and information. The Eastern philosophers speak of the body as a temple. This is true. It is a valuable dwelling place for us as we experience life. In fact, we can’t experience life in a full sense without it. However, the body is more than a temple, it is a living, breathing temple that has it’s own awareness. The body has fears, needs, personality, understanding, instincts, knowledge, pain and joy. It also has an incredible ability to heal itself. (those who get squeamish might want to skip to the next paragraph.) I remember watching C-sections when I was a Nurse-Midwife. The body was cut open, the baby was taken out, the uterus was pulled out and placed on the abdomen, sewed up and put back in. The next day I’d see these women walking around the halls of the hospital smiling and unaware of the trauma that the body had faced. They healed, they had more babies, life went on. I know of no other entity that can heal as well as the body.

The body is an amazing being. It learns and adapts daily, and we are unaware of it. Several years ago I was running in the woods in Fall. My foot landed in a hole that was covered with leaves and twisted badly. I heard the tendon snap over the ankle - not torn, but OUCH. It healed over time and I continued to run. Last summer I wasn’t paying attention while I ran, and my foot hit the edge of a hole. It didn’t twist, though. This time it stabilized. My body had learned how to keep the foot flat and navigate over the hole, without my thinking about it.

The body has its own issues. It has its own history. It’s had its own experiences in this life that it’s adjusted to. It has heredity to deal with. This means that there are familial and genetic tendencies in the body that define it. It faces new challenges with pollution and chemicals that are around and in it, and it has to adapt to these. The body has to work through all of these issues. We are each a guest of an entity is growing and evolving. It comes into this world with these issues and we as beings in the body can help it along. But, there are some things that will be unavoidable.

I’m learning a lot from my body. It takes things in stride and does what it needs to do. It lives in present time and deals with whatever is happening in the moment. The body doesn’t complain, but it does get weary and frustrated. It wants me to pay attention to it and give it what it needs. I try to tune into what the body wants to eat, not what my mind wants or thinks it should have. I’ve had this tremendous craving for Mediterranean food and never tire of it. I try not to stuff myself, though, as my body gets tired when I overeat. I try not to tire it. I still exercise, but avoid pushing it to fatigue. Meditation helps to relieve stress, as I see that stress is very difficult for the body to handle in large doses. I’m doing my best to sleep and rest when the body needs it, instead of supercharging it with coffee and power drinks. I exercise when I can, rest when I’m tired. Sleep has been difficult, but I’m working on that.

I’m learning a lot on this new phase of my journey. I’m making friends with my body on a whole new level. It’s not an organic machine. It’s an amazing, living being that I have the honor of inhabiting. Loving, appreciating, and taking care of my body - supporting it as best as I can - has now become not only an essential, but a soulful experience.

Some We Get Along With and Others We Let Go On Their Way

Recently, a member of my family wrote me an email and stated that she felt we were very different and our energies didn’t “mesh.” She said that after family affairs were no longer necessary she did not want me in her life. This hit me like a crushing blow and landed in my heart with a thud. I watched myself objectively – from a place of neutrality – as the emotional bomb hit and sank in. I expected tears and remorse to follow. But, interestingly there were none.

After all, I’d tried so hard to get along with her. I forgave insults and purposely praised her. I did my best to support her. I’d struggled to be close to her throughout my entire life. I told her I loved her. I invited her to do things with me. Yet, all of my efforts seemed to be met with indifference, a cold shoulder, a subtle disdain and occasionally blatant, direct, ballistic anger. And now this. A final statement of “I don’t want you in my life.”

I watched the understanding of what she’d said sink in and felt the impact. I took a breath then felt . . . relief. Yes, relief. To my surprise my heart flew away – away from her. I was free. I didn’t have to try anymore. I could now let her go. I then realized how much of me I’d wasted over the years. How much energy and time had I invested in this dead end relationship? Family or not, it wasn’t working. What seemed to be a devastating blow was an unshackling. She’d given me a gift of freedom.

How often do I give my energy and time to those who give little back, or even worse, throw it away? How many others would have benefited from my love and friendship over the years, while I continually gave it to people who never wanted it. What a waste of me.

Sometimes the seemingly worst insults are our most precious gifts. The rejection of another is a clear sign that we need to go elsewhere. And, isn’t it nice that we got the sign so we don’t have to waste any more time moving in that direction. After all, there are so many people that we all connect with – who need us and rejoice that we’re a part of their lives. My sincerest apologies to those I’ve ignored while trying to please those who didn’t want me. I vow to be there wholeheartedly for you now

Intuitive Awareness and Life’s Synchronicities

Though it happens continually, I am still amazed at how events line up so I can do what I need to do. For example, a few days ago as I was running near our home. I live in Atlanta and we are experiencing a drought right now. We haven’t been able to water our yards in over a year, and we’re all being very water conscious. As I was running down a quiet side street I saw that a fire hydrant had been hit by a vehicle and water was pouring out of it.

I was running and didn’t have my cell phone with me. But, I needed a phone to call to notify someone about the hydrant. Conveniently at that moment a guy in a Volkswagon drove by. I flagged him down and told him about the hydrant and asked him to call 911. He did and I continued to run for several miles.

When I returned via a different street 30 minutes later I passed a fire truck slowly driving along. I knew they were looking for the broken hydrant. I was in the right place at the right time to flag them down and was able to tell them where the broken hydrant was.

I continued to run and a mile or so later I again saw the man in the Volkswagon stopped at a stop sign on a different street. I was able to tell him that the fire truck had responded to his call and he’d saved us a lot of water.

Each day of my life is filled with small stories about how honoring my intuition helps me to be guided throughout my life.

Coaching Epiphany While Gardening

I love gardening and do a lot of it in our home in Greensboro. As I worked on the flower bed in my front yard I noticed my neighbor’s river birch was badly in need of pruning. Being a perfectionist tree lover (and a good neighbor) I began to happily prune away.

Halfway through the project I thought about the fact that in some ways I knew more about how the tree would grow more effectively than it did. But the birch had a great deal of evolutionary training behind it. Was I being presumptive? No, I knew that trimming the dead limbs would give it more energy and space. Removing branches that would not grow well because of placement would allow it to focus on growing in other areas. How did I know more about the tree than it did? Education, experience and perspective.

It then occurred to me how this observation is a perfect analogy for how coaching and counseling helps others. I have two coaches now and they give me tremendous insight and guidance. They aren’t me and can’t do what I do. But, they have what I need to help me to grow better, and my business is flourishing because of them. I’ve learned how important the insight of a coach is and I am very grateful that I offer this coaching or “pruning” service to people, as well as trees. We gain so much when we work together and allow ourself to take in another’s perspective, knowledge and experience.

Vacuuming the World

I had a dream a couple months ago. I was vacuuming the floor of the world. I had this huge wet vac/vacuum cleaner contraption and I was hard at work. Sometimes I I seem to do more work in my sleep than when I’m awake. Rest easy everyone, I’m cleaning up for you in my dreams (whether you need it or not).

I often write and speak about how important it is that we value who we are and not judge ourselves by what we do. I truly believe and understand this. I live by it and know I’m perfect just sitting here. Today I also thought about what we all do. We often think that one job is more significant than others. But, it occurred to me that every job - every task - is absolutely significant. In fact, everything we do effects everything around us.

So, I’m sitting in my car at a stop light (a typical occurrence in Atlanta) this morning. It’s taken me 10 minutes to travel 1/2 mile because someone decided to put a stop light in a place where it’s more of an obstruction than a help (as I see it, anyway). Now it takes me and others 10 more minutes to travel down a road because someone decided to put this light in. Hundreds of people sit at this light daily. Sitting there I began this conversation in my head with an imaginary person who put this light in. I emphatically told him about this light and that he had to fix this situation. In my head he said, “What difference does it make? My job is insignificant. All I do is adjust the traffic lights. What difference would my adjusting one light make?”

“Huge,” I said. “Hundreds of people pass by here everyday. Parents now have to leave home 10 minutes earlier and may have less time with their kids. One kid could have an important question that doesn’t get answered and this could affect his entire life. Another person may have an injury and decide to drive to the hospital down the street. The delay could cause blood loss that could cause loss of function, or even . . . .”

I got a bit carried away and went on and on. But one thing became very clear to me: Every job is important. We may think we’re insignificant, but each one of us has an effect on a myriad of people. One guy adjusts on light and it affects hundreds of people, and potentially thousands of people related to the hundreds. We don’t need me to vacuum the world. We’re all working together, whether we believe it or not. What we may need is more appreciation of who we are and how much we all matter.

 

Demonic Spirits?

A client of mine asked a very important question today, and I thought I’d share my answer with you:

Question: I’ve been afraid lately, and wanted to discuss this with you. I’ve always believed that demonic spirits exist. Whether this is true or not I don’t know. However, I worry that with all this work I’m doing to try to be more intuitive and “connect to spirit”, that I’m opening myself up to negative stuff possibly.

Answer: The work that you’re doing is not creating demonic energy or bringing it to you. You are becoming more aware and may be more sensitive to it, as well as aware of all of the wonderful energy around. It’s good to know what’s happening around you, and best to be aware of danger so you can avoid it.

There are negative beings both on and off the planet. I try to stay away from both genres. The way I keep “demonic beings” away is to admit that they’re out there and to not be afraid of them. I know that I cannot be hurt if I’m in my body, aware and not afraid.

So, how to not be afraid. Here’s how I handle it:
First, I reaffirm my knowledge that the negative beings can’t hurt me if I’m not afraid. I have seniority in my space.
Second, face them and stand up to them. Recognize their right to exist, but not in my space. (respect everyone and everything).
Third, send out a force field of love from my heart. Yes, love them. Send love, love, love vibrations out into my aura and the world. The vibration of love is very unpleasant to unpleasant beings and they will leave when they feel it.

If all else fails, I call on the spirit of Archangel Michael. He’s great at defending us from negative forces.

Remember, you’re never faced with a situation you can’t handle. The object is to be strong and learn from all of your experiences. Be in your power and you will rule in your space.

Unhappiness

February 21, 2008

As we know, happy is not something that’s inherent with certain circumstances. You can hang out in the best environment, with fascinating people, perfect weather . . . and still feel lousy. Happiness can’t be earned and it isn’t created externally. It’s an energy that we choose to embody or not.

Lately I’ve been exploring the state of being unhappy and realized that “unhappiness” is a term that’s overused. The truth is we often allow ourselves to become drained of energy – all energy – and we call this “unhappy.” This down feeling can also be un-love, un-grace, un-power . . . un-energized. We can fill this void with happiness, if we like. We can also fill up with love, grace, power, or any positive vibration, and experience the feeling of fullness and happiness.

Meditation is a powerful tool for filling up with happiness – or just filling up. Begin by sitting quietly and paying attention to the state of your energy level. If your energetic fuel tank is low state your intent to fill it up. You may ask yourself where and when you’re getting drained. You can then visualize plugging this hole in your life.Decide that you will be filled with light.

Stay tuned to my next newsletter for a powerful technique to bring in happy energy into your life. (You can sign up for my monthly article and newsletter by emailing me at debhill@yourintuitivelife.com, or go to the my newsletter page and sign up.

Love

February 11, 2008

My husband and I noticed we occasionally try to fix each other instead of expressing our own needs. I know we’re not alone in this. We both want each other to be playing his or her “A” game – being a happy, loving, positive, effective, communicative . . . self. We say we like each other that way because it’s good for the other person. Oh sure, we each want the other to be happy. Honestly, we ask each other to change because we like each other better that way. It’s more fun when he’s loving and funny. I’m more fun when I’m happy and playful. So we try to change each other. It goes something like this:

I don’t like it when he gets “in his head.” I want him to be more in his heart. So I ask him to. This doesn’t work. The head guy tells me he is in his heart. Of course he does. Head guy always says that.

Or, I express how I feel and do this by recounting exactly what happened. He says I’m blaming him and I need to speak differently to him. This makes me feel unheard, and well, you probably know the normal progression from there. This time we tried another approach (after a bit of a er, um, discussion).

We learned and we grew. We decided we will now accept the other person for better or worse. That doesn’t mean we have to stay in the same room. And if we need to be treated differently we will tell the other person how we want to be treated; not ask the other person to change. Well, that’s the plan. No matter what, remembering our love for each other is the key. It will certainly make for a Happy Valentines Day . . . Which I heartfully wish for all of you.

Those of you who I’ve coached or taught have yet another example of why we try to fix others and why it doesn’t work. “Projection roses” are also great tools to use when you want to express your own needs.

Waves

January 27, 2008

Few people like to make waves, yet it’s the waves that create change. In fact, most of us don’t like to be around when change is being made. Most of us fear and dislike confrontation. We’d rather live in a stable environment, whether or not the situation is pleasant.

It isn’t easy to stand up and speak out. We have to take responsibility for the process and the results. Often there’s a feeling of resistance that has to be faced and moved against. All waves are created by someone or something brushing up against some resistance, and it takes strength to do this. Most of the time the change is for the better. But, the person making the change has to be determined and strong enough to step out from the norm of complacency.

Leaders are change agents. They are the people who step up and speak out. They do things to promote change. Some people fight them, others follow.

Musings

January 17, 2008

I gave a speech the other night, the content of which “flew in the face of the beliefs” of some of my fellow Toastmasters. I was told that my ideas needed further examples to verify them, and there may be truth to this. However, one person suggested that I back up my ideas with quotes from famous and “important” people, so that they carry more weight.

This suggestion got me thinking. How much do we miss in life if we’re putting the “famous and important” people above the ones in front of us? We are all wise in our own worlds. We all have superb understandings unique to our situations and experience. Are these understandings worthless or false unless backed up by those who are recognized by our culture?

In truth, many of the greatest prophets – ones we quote from often – were not recognized in their own time. Even Jesus had a small following compared to the number of people alive at the time. So, don’t discount the wisdom of the person standing in front of you, no matter how strange the musings might seem. These musings may be the pillars of truth that uphold future generations. Open your mind and you might learn something new and profound.